Love in the Time of HIV, Bird Flu, SARS atbp.
It was the day before Valentine's.
I was on the bus home, pondering how I would spend my nth Single Awareness Day (or SAD, as our kind would call it), comforted by the thought of not having to buy overpriced flowers, not having to fall in line just to get the most foreign-sounding box of chocolates, and not having to bother about getting a haircut. Such is the resolve we take. And by “we,” I refer to people who have gotten tired of looking, and instead have contented themselves with waiting.
He was in his middle 30s, clutching a five-, maybe six-year-old girl who I presumed was his daughter. When instead of taking a seat he opted to hold on to a handrail and stay in the aisle, I figured he was up to something.
Only three groups of people do that after stepping into a bus with still vacant seats: the inspectors, the vendors and the beggars. He neither possessed the bus company ID nor spoke to the conductor, so he clearly was not of the first group. It was safe to assume that he was not selling his child, the only thing he held at that time, so he was not a vendor either. In an attempt to test my “clinical eye,” I noticed that he did not have the trademark purple collection bags of bus preachers and that his rather clean, white polo short did not fit into the profile of a worker on-strike. I was intrigued.
Then he lifted his head and spoke, in a tentative voice filled with so much trembling he could have easily been an elementary pupil being asked to recite his first poem in front of the class.
“Magandang ha-hapon po… maang-hihingi la-ang po saaa-na ng tulong.”
The bus conductor appeared beside me and asked for my fare. I fumbled for the 50-peso bill in my pocket while trying to discern what the father in the aisle was saying four rows from where I sat.
“Pampa-dialysis lang po ng… asawa ko. Maaang-hi… hingi lang po sana… ng tulong. Kaaa-hit magkano lang po.”
At this point, his daughter woke up and rubbed her eyes, perhaps puzzled by the sea of strangers to whom her father was speaking. The father, on the verge of crying in public, stroked her long wavy hair and proceeded to the row behind mine. He took a seat, his daughter on his lap.
It was obviously the first time he said his piece. Brief, unrehearsed, and yet it had with it a sincerity never attained by preachers who foretell of apocalypse, even by homeless beggars in their dirtiest clothes.
Inside my head I was computing. For charity patients in Philippine General Hospital, the first dialysis session costs about seven thousand pesos. Succeeding dialysis sessions cost two thousand pesos each. Patients on end-stage renal disease optimally require three dialysis sessions weekly, at least two if the budget is really tight. Hence, a PGH charity patient easily spends 300,000 pesos on dialysis alone, if he or she wishes to live for one more year. The price, of course, skyrockets for private patients, who would also have to pay for the professional fees of their physicians.
The bus conductor handed me my change. I pocketed the coins, and then gave the 20-peso bill to the father pleading for help. He expressed his thanks with a weak smile.
I am a single medical student pondering on flowers, chocolates and haircuts on the day before Valentine’s, and I have with me a case of a married man in his middle 30s begging for money so that he would not lose the mother of his child. Diagnosis?
Love.
He could not have done that if it were not for love. Of this I am certain.
As certain as I am, that this essay would have been more appropriately titled “Love in the Time of End-Stage Renal Disease.” But no reader would have been interested in such a title.
At a time when there is widespread fear of contracting HIV, SARS and bird flu, few Filipinos realize that the real love stories do not come from these somewhat obscure illnesses, but from diseases that, despite their being preventable and/or treatable, are so prevalent it would undeniably break your heart to realize people still die from them.
Take tuberculosis for instance. Every day, 75 Filipinos die of what has been dubbed as the “National Disease of the Philippines.” This figure easily translates to 75 wives who would lose 75 husbands, 75 sets of siblings who would lose 75 fathers or mothers, or 75 sad endings on Valentine’s Day and every day after that. That is even worse than a daily ULTRA stampede.
Shifting to another infectious disease, one-third of Filipinos carry the Hepatitis B virus. Just last month, I witnessed a mother stay in the Pediatrics ER for three straight days so she could stay beside her jaundiced baby diagnosed to have neonatal hepatitis and syphilis, practically dismissing the need to change her clothes, eat her meals on time, or even sleep. It was obligatory maternal love, I remember telling myself when I first saw the mother and child. Then I found out that the infant was adopted. I was left in awe. Why do these kinds of love stories never make it to newspapers or the big screen?
Filipinos prefer the tragic and the sensational over the chronic and the socially relevant. The effect? Our countrymen panic when authorities discover a single fatal case of meningococcemia and stockpile the most durable masks when news on SARS crossing borders breaks out.
Who then bothers about TB? Hepatitis? Pneumonia? Diarrhea? Malnutrition? Stroke? Hypertension? End-stage renal disease?
In the time of HIV, bird flu and SARS, Filipinos look for love in the wrong places. As a result, we die of the wrong reasons, too.
############
I was supposed to submit this to an essay-writing contest sponsored by a daily broadsheet. Unfortunately, by the time I found the apt ending, it was way past the contest’s deadline. I retained the title anyway.
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sa wakas! tapos na finals noh kaya nakapag-blog ka na hehe. lagi kasi ako nagche-check kung may bago galing kay ronibats pero wala eh. until to day that is haha! in fairness, na-touch ako sa sinulat mo. I agree….people look for love in the wrong places and people (guilty ako diyan) and it is really sad to see people dying from curable diseases. Napanood ko sa NatGeo na ung flu virus nga hirap sila hanapan ng vaccine kasi laging nagmu-mutate ung strain. wala namang mashadong money for research so kapag tapos na ung vaccine may iba na ulit na klase ng flu virus. Amerika na un ha! Mas lalo pa shempre mahirap dito sa Pinas to fund research para makahanap ng gamot for curable diseases.
wow may bagong post! tiga las piñas din ako at minsan may mga nakakasabay din akong ganyan (although wala pa akong nakasabay na mamang humihingi ng limos para sa asawa niya). Minsan, ‘di ko talagang maiwasang maawa kahit may halong duda kung totoo ba yung sinasabi niya. Sayang ‘di mo na-submit ‘to. Panalo ‘to panigurado.. =)
The title reminds me of a novel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. And of course, the movie Serendipity (where I first saw the book).
Buti kumidlat na uli. :)
grabe, tagos! sana sinubmit mo ito. anyway, ganda ng message mo.
nice! buti nagkaupd8 na ulet kuya ronie (tagal na din natapos na nga sayt ko hehe..)
sayang di na-submit.. pero dibale, makakarating pa rin naman ang mensahe nitong essay mo sa mga tao, o kahit samen na mga readers mo. ;)
galing. :)
btw, it’s nice reading your words again.
you da man..welcome back
hay, napakaunoriginal naman ng title mo, bro! patterned sa “Love in the Time of Cholera” ni Gabriel Garcia Marquez…
^Marvin,
Wag ako ang sisihin mo. Yung broadsheet na nagpa-contest. Hehe. Sa kanila galing yung title, tinamad na akong palitan nung natapos ko yung essay. And yes, I am well aware of the “unoriginality.”
Nabasa ko na yung librong yun ni GGM. Ang favorite line ko pa nga dun eh yung kay Florentino Ariza, “The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love.”
salamat libreng kwento uli. naalala ko tuloy ang quotation ni Reynolds Price na “after food and before shelter and love, we need to tell a story.”
kala ko sa charity ng pgh libre lahat… or something like that.
wala nga palang pondo gobyerno para dun.
sa NKI kaya?
nice piece. tats ako. parang ayoko na tuloy mag-starbucks (for now… hehe)
ang galing mo din pala magsulat ng English! grabe..talagang talented po kayo.
oo nga, kahit hindi ito nasali at nanalo sa contest, na-touch kaming mga readers mo.
salamat.
tama si pepay. di naman nagmamatter kung manalo o hindi. ang mahalaga don, may puso yung pagkagawa mo. at marami kaming na-touch. galing mo talaga! =)
*salutes kuya ronnie* hehe.
nice one!
may fans club ka na ba? :
sali sana ako! =)
Kaya kita idol e… sa totoo lang natutuwa ako kasi may mga kapareho ako ng mga tingin sa bagay-bagay!!!
grabe..kuya…ganda ng message ng essay mo…saiang dapat sinubmit mo…it really makes you think na habang ikaw puro luvlyf na walang katuturan ang pinoproblema….chocolates, flowers..maraming tao buhay ng mga mahal nila ang pinoproblema…nice essay…^_^
salamat sa bagong kwento. nakakaantig talaga ng puso. sa totoo lang madalas sa hindi na pag may mga nanghihingi ng tulong sa kalye o bus, mejo alanganin ang maraming tao (tulad ko) na magbigay kasi di sigurado kung legit nga ang cause. pero ung kwento mo, walang duda. bihirang lalaki ang gagawa ng ganyan. bilib ako sa kanya.
at bilib din ako sa yo. buti na lang may kaibigan akong nagbigay sa akin ng blogsite mo.
naiyak ako. naalala ko ung isang episode ng maalaala mo kaya. :((
my friend gave me u’re blog, & i am very curious kung sino ka. sobrang naaliw ako sa blog mo..sobrang sarap magbasa. send me an email if u have time. thank u
Pahabol lang. Nabasa ko kase. Ang ganda rin from the book.
“There is bound to be someone driven mad by love who will give you the chance one of these days. And when you do find one, observe with care, they almost always have crystals in their heart.”
love the title. i remembered gabriel garcia marquez’s love in the time of cholera.
Naiyak ako habang binabasa ko ito. Hindi ko nga lang matukoy kung bakit. Hehehe. Sayang hindi ka umabot sa deadline ng contest! Malaki ang laban ng sanaysay mo. :)
parang nakakarelate ako sa sinabi sa sanaysay…we find for love in the wrong place nga..You try to love another person and think that love will be lost forever if that person left you well in fact andami nangangailangan nang pagmamahal sa mundo. Pinapatigas nga lng nga natin ang puso natin minsan kung makikita natin mga kapatid natin na nangangailangan,cguro na rin dahil yan sa busy tayo sa ating mga sariling buhay..
Magaling ang sanaysay mo…keep it up and thank you for uplifting my spirit!
tagos…
grabe u r 1 of the very few writters that can give me cutis anserinas…
due to my interest to Bob Ong’s books, nakita ko ang site mo sa google.. and i got hooked up since. congratulations. keep up the good work. you realy can’t know how many lives you have touched–isa ako dun.
thanks kasi dahil sa’yo hindi ako masyadong pressured sa work ko…
naka2Aliw tlaga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!as in super….
that was touching…
pag naging filmmaker na ako…
i’ll make a film about a love story like this one.
kuya ronnie!! ang galing mo… advice naman dyan tungkol sa mga gawa mo!!! more words and inspirations to share!!! ingats dok!
simple. no melodrama. true. ok ‘ to, ronnie. Ü
ok talaga yung stories mo…
saludo ako sa iyo…
actually hindi ako mahilig magbasa mukhang ngayon kahihiligan ko na… :-)
pero maswerte narin ung mga ibang may sakit, dun kc nila makikita na they are loved unlike sa mga taong wlang sakit pero wla nmang saysay buhay nila.^_^ sila ung mga living dead…XD
matinding sakit un.